who am I??

Do I look like I’m very happy?? I start to feel that I don’t know myself and don’t know what kind of life I am passing through. I feel sad, happy, emotional, and jealous and so on. This feeling make my life so dull. Though I feel that after transfer school my studies better and maybe that’s a thing that makes my life bright. But there are only few things that make my life bright whereas many things that make my life dull. I feel the pain-ness like never felt before. Now the entire problem that I have also I don’t know who to tell because I don’t know who can help me. I couldn’t talk to my mom because she seems like don’t care so its wasting time for me to talk to her. My best friends and sis also couldn’t help me cause we are so far from each other. They can give me advice, I’m not the type of person that can’t think and can’t solve my problems. So there’s no use for them to give me advice. If they give me advice I’ll still listen and appreciate every single of their words because I feel so happy to be their neither friends nor sis. Hmm I don’t know why I feel so lost and sometimes emotional too. I love to hide myself. Nowadays besides going to sch and meet sch friends, I didn’t really go out to meet friends. Main reason is because I don’t want to meet anyone. Part of the reason is because I want to study. Hmm, and also nowadays I don’t really likes to go work. Like I said, I don’t like go meet people. I rather stay at home and do housework and other stuff than going out to play. tho sometimes I feel going out is fun but also depends on who I’m going out with. Another bad feeling that I have is 1 of my friend start to change hxx attitude. I don’t really like her new attitude but I can’t do anything cause I believe that she will thinks I changed too. So since the day I move I don’t want to care how my friend’s attitude is anymore because we are all quite far from each other and I can’t change how they are. I’ll be how I am because I also don’t need others to care how I am. So I really don’t know myself since the day I move and I also don’t know how to know myself back. I feel so stress and …………………….in my life!! I hope I can get through these feelings as soon as I can. It’s such a bad pain in life.