misery life!

Wow.. guess what? Last night I dream of something that are very scary but not ghost.. is something that I unexpected it will happen so I don’t want this dream to be reality.. it is something about my friend betraying me and. ……….lots more! After wake up also feel the scary-ness.. friends cannot be trusted.. included my family members.. I don’t know who to trust cause everyone beside me changing their attitude and style.. maybe I’m changing too.. so I don’t want to give any comment to anyone about their new style.. whether is good or bad also I don’t give a damn on it! I care of myself and I know what I’m doing here and right now is correct and sure I won’t regret, that’s it! Honestly every time I laugh also in my heart it’s like crying.. I don’t know why am I living in this kind of feelings.. seems like very hard for me to be really happy.. who knows that I’m sad? Only ME! Cause everyone is busy with their life and no one concern about me.. fine.. and there’s something that I really dislike about one of my friend.. maybe she knew about it but she continue so I also don’t care.. I don’t want to see or listen.. it’s her choice.. she knew that I dislike but she still insist to do.. so I can’t do anything.. sometimes there’s many things that I don’t want to see and listen.. though I act that I didn’t see it but I still can hear.. I only got 1 pair of hand which is right hand and left hand.. I can’t close my ears and eyes at the same time… all I can do is only pretend that I didn’t see and hear.. and of course I need to shut my mouth too.. to avoid anything that shouldn’t happen.. I’m like so speechless about all my friends around me.. I don’t know when they are real and don’t know when they are telling lies.. but sometimes I’m still clear with their attitude and their mind.. I’m still smart enough to think even though I’m like lost or maybe in a misery life.. so don’t try to lie me! I didn’t speak or take any action doesn’t mean I don’t know.. and there’s many things that I hate to see when you did it! Especially PICTURES!