haix

haix...im so tired being peli..all my worker keep saying that i v another guy that i dont even like him..at 1st i thought is just like joking and all..i never expect it to be so serious..until today which is 31 of dec 2008..my friends only tell me that..maybe he will have some feelings towards me though he got gf..and also he got prob with his gf and wanna break n all..and past 2 days..1 of them call my mom and tell her that he gonna break with his gf because of me..im so shock after listening that..so today i ask him why he say that? and he tell me all the stories..so i understand d..but all i don't understand is what we do? t hey say how we both act and the way we talk like couple..so all outsiders also feel that we both on and so on...haix..i don't know when will this rumors go till his gf side..im afraid of all this thing happen...like my fren say..its not joking..though if they wan to break up or not i don't want to involve..its their prob..i don't want my name to be inside it..haix...this few days feel so frus of everything..especially my pmr result..the 1st time in my life i cry for my result..and also the 1st time that i did actually care..when i get my result im still ok..still smiling but after 2 minutes, i walk out n go back without telling any1..on the way im walking to the car..my tears straight drop n i cry..never expect i will cry..but my mom tell me its ok d..coz i din go for any ttn..they know i do it myself..she tell me that others go for ttn also will fail for their pmr..but i din go for any ttn and din fail..so its ok d..but i feel that i give every1 disappointment..im disappointed too..but what can i do???

whee!!!!!!!

haha..y'day im on the fon v 2 of my frens.. i talk to them for a while.. i ans her call cause i guess im ok d.. nth much la.. just that temporary don't want to be in any relation.. tired.. cause not all the guy will appreciate their own gf.. they treat girl as their shirt.. 1day change 1 also nth to them.. hmm.. but ignore all the stupid guys la.. seldom guys will appreciate their gf.. i guess most of my fren agree with my words.. right? hmm dun have any function.. kinda bored la.. after wake up i straight go to work as usual.. den follow my dad go out for a while and come back again.. freaking bored n also tired.. nowadays less chatting d.. coz i din really contact v my fren.. but now im going to contact them back coz i MISS THEM!! haha.. cant live without my friends.. joking nia la...

thinking!!

It’s already 4 in the morning.. I still can’t sleep.. and the worst thing is my internet connection got some problem and I can’t straight post it.. I’m listening to songs and looking back at the pictures of me and my friends.. the songs that I feel is meaningful to me.. and every of our pic also mean lots of meaning.. there’s history at the back.. the happy, funny, sad, argue, cute, emo, ugly, pretty and others.. hmm.. this is the last year of mine to be with them.. I will never have the chance to join them in a study group of any school activities.. I never thought of to leave them so early.. I always plan my stuff after f5.. but unexpected now f3 already got to leave everything here and stop here.. I miss the day with them.. they are really a very good friends.. but maybe not all la.. but no matter what, they are still my friends.. I’ll never forget them no matter where I go.. especially my best friend and god sis.. but sometimes I’m thinking of my mom’s words.. she tell me that when a person leave the place and everything will change.. maybe not that person will change.. its every1 also will change.. and I’m thinking.. when a person change their life and mix with different ppl.. their attitude might change too.. and when a person change, they might don’t realize that.. so I’m really out of idea.. and I don’t dare to think what will happen after this.. I’ve study in cgl for 9yers d.. suddenly transfer school, I really can’t accept it.. but what can I do.. I also don’t know whether I will change after this or not.. can’t imagine what’s going to happen in front of me.. but all I know is, that place don’t belong to me.. the place where I really belongs to is penang and my sch is convent green lane.. sometimes I really hate the teachers in cgl.. but now I feel they wasn’t that bad like I used to think of them.. it’s too late to know.. also too late to regret that I din appreciate the time inside there.. I have already wasted my study time there for so many years.. REGRET!! Ishhh!!! So after this im going to study harder.. coz of spm.. I’m sure that my friends will study harder too.. cause spm is our life!! Campade!!!!!Think of the life in bm is so sux.. or maybe that I don’t really know bm yet.. cause I just move in around 1 month time only.. hmm.. besides this.. I guess I don’t really have prob to think d.. 1 more thing is my friends that work with me.. everyday they also peli me with another guy.. just because of that day we went for dinner together after work.. and the next day all of them say that we are couple and so on.. sometimes while working is quite enjoying.. but sometimes also quite stress cause of my aunt and uncle… maybe there’s only 1 word to describe in life.. which is “enjoy life”.. appreciate the time while you got.. don’t waste your time with stupid stuff..!!!

finally make my decision

I’m thinking for the whole afternoon.. finally i have already make my decision to break up with him d.. i've been thinking for couple days.. and maybe i should make it earlier.. but because of past few days suddenly i receive his msg n i change my mind again.. i am thinking to be patient and continue.. but sometimes i really feel that he don't really care about me tho he say he do.. but i cant feel it.. i feel we are just like normal frens when we chat.. he tells me that he miss me.. but i don't think its true.. so i make the decision and tell him this evening.. im kinda sad and scared regret.. but end up i don't feel regret at all.. coz i know that we are just passing through a temporary relation.. wont last.. that's why i give up early.. the ppl besides me that know my prob ask me to let him go coz he is not worth for me to keep...hmm.. i also dunno what to say.. what can i do? since i already make my decision d i also don't want to think about it anymore d.. my dear concerning friends, don’t worry about me anymore.. i’m ok d... temporary I don’t want to be in any relation.. wants to stay in single life again.. that’s easier..

recall back the memories

hmm...while i'm thinking of how to make my decision, recall back some memories we had..i never think of to be his gf cause its impossible..but unexpected..i feel so happy to be with him..but end up someone knows it then it turns into a big prob..cause i'm thinking not telling any1 about him..but end up they find out too..cause i don't think my friends will accept it..in another way, they will think how bad am i..but i don't care..cause its not the first time i did like this..so no matter what, i know i like him and he likes me too..it's so simple..so we started happily..but there's once i break with him cause happen something and it seems like testing my patient...im not a patient person like i always tell my friends..so i say break up..but he ask for the 2nd chance on 5/12/2008.. and i accept again..so we start again..and i din feel regret to accept him back again..coz i realise that i really like him..then we went for a movie and at nite we went out then around 1something mindnite he fetch me back to my house..i really had fun with him..and after that i think i really loves him..but is he really worth for me to love? haha..erm sometimes when he didn't reply my msg and not really concern about me time, im angry...coz i want a bf that is really concerning..not a cold-blooded bf..but in another way, he's a funny guy..SOMETIMES only..hmm..but i don't know why my god sis don't really like him..maybe the way he treat me..what can i do?? is cause of i like him so i cant just let him go off...i wants to keep him.. i wants to be with him..but i don't think i will be happy also if i get to keep him..cause i don't know where his heart is..i can keep his person but not his heart...haix...feel so sad+frus+angryyy!!!!

it's a fun day but end up............

12/12/2008 i was thinking that it's gonna be a fun and happy day to me..but hmm....at first it is end up its not a fun day...today i wake up at 11...n my parents all go out at 1something...after that i go bath and all is already 2something..den i call him come to my house 1st..after that we planning to go out..then he come around 2something and thinking to go back to get car at 4something..so he can fetch me go out coz we planning to go beach..but end up, he din answer my call n din reply my msg..till 7something almost 8..he call me and tell me that he just wake up..and I'm kinda angry with it..i was thinking to go out after this again but end up din go out again...its so disappointed!!! i seriously like him tho i just started with him almost like 1 week..i feel so enjoy with him tho he's not really caring like others of my frens..i feel he is something special to me cause this is the first time in relation that i actually din lie in anything..i tell him every single thing...but after 24th...i guess everything will be different again..coz of some reason..I'm thinking should i break up?? coz I'm not a patient person..i cant wait...and i don't want him to be sad..maybe me too..but i don't want to let him go off...i really don't know how to solve this problem!!

i feel so angry and no mood after this...cause i don't know what i actually want..hmm..but no matter what im going to make my decision as soon as i can...a decision that i won't regret..and this msg is to ______, im not ready to start or add in any relation yet..so i hope after you reading this you can understand la..i can't treat you as a special person yet..tho you don't mind i do have a bf right now..but i still can't accept it..i'm sorry...maybe we should just let it be la...