23rd of november

last night planned to go out w/friends for a drinks..

1st because of what had happened..

i wanna have a drink to forget everything..

with friends., they can cheer me up too..

but today dont know why..i'm not in a mood to go out anymore..

so cancel the plan..

i rather buy red wine and enjoy it alone at home..

my room will be the peace place for me..

not only now but ever..

w/out friends with me, i can release out my pain too..

ps: what am i doing?

am i wrong???

do you actually really wish to

keep this friendship?

22nd of november

today was supposed to be a very good & fine day to me...

didn't expect anything to happen..

unfortunately, it happens in the afternoon..

somehow, i really dont know what i'm doing..

i thought it could be settle easily but its not..

why must .... thinks or make it till so complicated?

when ... asks me why?

i dont know how to answer..i also dont know what im doing..

how can i do this?

is it that i turn back to last time or totally didn't changed like what others say im "cold blooded"..

i'm trying to be as bad as i can to make .... hate and forget me..

but ... insists to ask (why?)

and then ... says that im trying to underestimate myself..

i don't know what ... wants from me..

and end up, i also don't know what i want from myself in this situation..

21st of november

today went to gurney w/vivs..

we went there very early..10.30 reached there..

so we decided to go to buy ticket for our movie..

but the counter is not open yet..

so we planned to have our breakfast..

went to MCD..

then after that, go up again to buy our ticket..

but...

it was such a long line till escalator..

waited for 45 minutes for 2 tickets..

while waiting, i went down to meet scull to pass him something..

watch 3D, christmas carol..at 12 noon

then after movie, was walking around to wait for my aunt..

end up, decided to go to chopper board for lunch..

*menu*

meet my aunt at 2 something..

& she treats us..*thankie*

LOL..

went to F.O.S and parkson..

spend more than one hour to buy swimming suit..

finally choose one simple and nice..

after buying, we went down to guardian and eu yan shang..

aunt wanna buy things so follow along..

on our way, meet a lot of people..

ann, jolyn, aud, chan, vill, amber, san and 2 more guys..

san told me that i slim down a lot till he cant recognize me..

was so damn bloody happy that at least there is few poeple realized that..

cause i really work hard on it..

=)

went back home around 5 or 6 something..

was so tired..

straight go to sleep..

and wake up on 8 something then have dinner with family..

feel happy and enjoy my time with vivs..

20th of november

today was a super bored day to me..

hope tomorrow will be a good and fun day..

will be away for 2 days..

back on monday..

see you!

message to you

*old pic*

the reason you give?

tears drop?

nightmare?

didn't reply?

waited for me?

has changed or not?

your problem?

i dont know how to accept the reason you give..

if you have the heart to remain it im sure you will...

unfortunately, you didn't..

i've been delaying my date to settle it, its because i hope there is a changed..

i didn't even received a single msg from you via sms or msn..

i thought you will be the same like last time to concern about me and how i feel..

but you did not..

or is it its my problem to think that you left me alone?

you should know that now there's nothing important to me..

cause i did lost everything in one second..

i dont have confidence to differentiate whether who is my true friend..

there's many people changed into something that i don't expect them to change at all..

sometimes i understand that i think too much but this time,

i take a very long time to think..

it takes me for several months to make this decision..

and of course i hope i won't regret..

i wanna ask you to go out but i feel that we don't have any conversation to talk..

i drank and think a lot..

i was like so stupid that i just realized everytime go out with you also you aren't happy..

and it seems like i make you feel very bored..

i don't know how to tell you how i feel..

if i make you cry, i apologize..

you don't need to wait as you said, you dont wanna be an idiot..

or maybe you can treat that all is my fault and i have changed..

if this way makes you feel better then i dont mind..

ps: did not reply cause out of credit

19th of november

*old pic*

today was another fun day to me..

planning to do a lot of stuff but end up didn't..

just keep thinking, dreaming and playing w/others..

i thought i was doing the right thing but it was not..

dont know how to express out my feeling..

i also dont know who i am anymore..

i'm LOST again..

this time, i guess no one will be by my side..

so i always remind myself to cheer up and stand up by my own..

i need to be independent..

i shouldn't lean on others and needs their comfort to get up..

i ain't a failure ANYMORE!

anyway i really feel glad and thanks to my friends..

they always have a very happy time..

when im w/them, i feel that all my worries had gone..

especially the new friend...

although i know him for a short period..

but he is much more better than anyone..

he can make a person feel very happy and no worries..

even if he bully him, he also won't angry..

its nice to be his friend..

before this, me and my friend tie his hair and take photos..

though he doesn't like it, but he is not angry and end up he is laughing too..

LOL

*bread with ais-kacang* *yucks!*

today he was eating his bread with tuna..

then he also asks my friend to buy him ais-kacang...

end up, i spread the ais-kacang into his bread and the other friend put the whole piece of bread into the box..though he feel sucks but he still eat it up..

and he say "GOOD"..

i really wish to be like him..

always happy cause no worries...

ps: i feel i should walk my life with a positive thinking..

 "live like everyday is miracle

don't let the magic flow away

because then you will have no reason to live"

"everyday of life will be hard

struggle so you can break free

and keep yourself alive."

18th of november

this morning was like so tired!

wake up at 7 something and out from house around 8..

everywhere also so jam..

hate to wait..

went to my grandma house to drop down my dad..

then me, mom and bro went to eat breakfast..

after eating, straight come back to bm..

drop down my bro at home then boil egg before go to work..

reached working place around 10something..

feel very tired but end up i had lots of fun w/friends..

and my cousin went to s'pore today for studies..

she will be back before cny..

miss her!

wish her all the best and take care..

at night, go back to penang again...

dad find his friend and then me and my mom had dinner at ....

after that come back again...

was feeling so bored cause no wine!

so decided to update my blog since im free and cant sleep..

ps: i know you had changed..

after what i write out here,

you changed your pw immediately..

that proves to me you give up too..

thought you will understand me..

but you did not..you aint like last time anymore!

im feeling so glad that i realize!

17th of november

y'day working as usual..

chit-chat and ...... with friends..

have fun as much as i want..

because of him...he is funny..

never see him feel sad or unhappy before....

how much i wish i could be like him..

suddenly, my mom told me that they want to go back to penang house overnight..

 *surprise*

then i just say okay..

went back..wanna ready to go out..

unfortunately, dont know which part of the car spill oil..

i thought dont need to go already..

but my dad call my uncle to lend us his car..

waited for quite long..

so, start to enjoy my new wine..

oh yea! forget to write out my latest hobby..

which is drinking RED WINE! 

im so addicted to it..

i drink it every night..

and last night i drink a lot..

one bottle...its 2005..not bad..

at least much more better than 2007..*sucks*

im going to try 1999 soon..its at penang's house..

started to drink and listening to my song using my phone connect to the small speaker..

was enjoying that moment..

then vain with the bottle of red wine after drinking a while..

out of sudden, feel very sad and turn to very emo..

no more excited feeling..

maybe because of listening to the songs and it reminds me a lot of stuff..

friends/ex/family and so on..

feel so sad because i dont know what im doing..

i dont even know what i want..

feel so ***king fed-up..

get damn sad..

and end up, finished drinking all...

almost fall asleep while waiting..

but wait till 10something, uncle reached..

so get into the car..

i was like so damn dizzy and all the feeling is still with me..

reached home around 11something..

really dizzy and sad..

but couldn't sleep anymore..

feel like vomiting but didnt..

waited till quite late only sleep...

think a lot while lying down on my bed..

it makes me cry at the end..

i cry for quite long...

release out and then i feel better...

i dont know what should i do to changed my life..

i've been chatting w/old friends included my ex..

i just hope to move on my life..

but I CAN'T!!

arghhhhh

*red wine opener*

*red wine 2005*

*speaker and my phone*

*half way*

 

start vaining till my mood changed!

ps: i hope for nothing but better life ONLY..

16th november 2009

Hello! Good morning!

finally i aint lazy and free to update my bloggie..

bring my keyboard along to work cause im used to use it..

keyboard at my working place isn't nice at all..

typing also slow and keep type wrong if i use my office keyboard..

my keyboard!

seems like quite long didnt update news about me since 22nd of october..

my blog has been delayed for so long because of exam & also laziness..

 =)

i had a lot of fun after exam and soon im going to enjoy my holiday w/my aunt at.......

hope we have a nice holiday there...

not going to write much cause i still have a lots to update...

will stop here and continue older post...

ps: i feel that we are different few months ago but im not telling you..

i dont know whether u realize what is changing around us or not..

but i want to tell you that i give up already..

all ur blog and password im not going to use and view too..

so whats happening around u i dont know and dont want to know anymore!

15th of november

yesterday was my parents 17th anniversary..

so we decided to have dinner at ...........
*forget the restaurant name*

we ordered quite a lot..

and almost finish eating, my baby bro stomach pain..

so dad fetches him back home first..

then only me, mom and my aunt together w/bro go back..

its quite cheap..

much cheaper than we expected..

=)

went home rest for a while then only cut cakes..

the cake was bought from jenny cake house at pulau tikus..

it was quite nice and delicious..

but i didnt eat cause im like so damn full after the dinner..

took few pics during eating and some are vaining wan...

starter

shark fin... yummmy yuimmmy

five season and fishyy..

seafood claypot and prawn...

lastly, yam..

i love this the most..its like so delicious!!

all of them busy enjoying the food.. =)

chocolate walnut..

happy family w/out me.. =(

mum and naughty bro...

same?? he copy my style!

parents say that we both look alike..is it??

he is vaining w/my camera...

and now, my turn!

 XD