new poems!

I lay here in the dark, I cry alone.
Arms wrapped around me tight, but they’re my own.
I feel not the warmth of another.
I feel no love, not even from mother.
I am broken inside.
I am lost with no place to hide.
I must get ready for the auction; they're sending me away.
And still I’m alone, each and every day.
I asked for an angel, but none would come.
I lay here broken, my body so numb.
I call, I cry out for help, but they did not hear.
I fell so far, but came so near.
I'm in a new world, I know not how to survive.
I'm dead, and yet I’m alive.

I hide to cry
because I have no where to call my own
and "happily ever after" is a land too far away,
just after once upon a time; just this side of the rainbow
and no one really cares anyway
I know I will never leave this place
and dreams don't really come true
its just all make believe
and it really doesn't matter
my weakness brings my tears
and I have no one to hold me close
no one here who loves me
and no one really cares anyway
I embarrass the moon
and she is my only friend
but she's too far away to hold my hand
no one really cares
and is this pain even real
no one validates my pain
and no one really cares
so why should I
and it really doesn't matter anyway...

My life...
An uncertain person
A slit to burn never to be seen
Why do I cut?
You hurt me badly
My heart bursting
The pain I feel
The blood I see
Await, await, await another day
I cut so what
Should you care?
Why do you care to love me any longer?
I'm not emo. I just cut
My reason unknown...
I cry to die, but never show it
I'm a secret away from telling
Never to deep
Never enough to die
But enough to feel the pain
The blade next to flesh
To gain my strength
I'm not perfect but why do I cut?
My reason still unknown...

(i don't feel the pain tho it bleeds a lot)

to my friend-

I am sorry for what I did

I forgive what you have done

Cause I know that you will forgive me too

The truth is I miss you

Remember all the laughs we have together

Each day I pick up on the phone to call you

Don’t you remember?

All the teachers who yelled at us for talking

And the insides jokes that we laughed our heads off with

The gossips and rumors we made

We hung out almost anywhere

With one another

We were always together

You said forever.

When I leave

I tried to hold on to you

So I finally gave up

So I now hold to the memories

You come to talk once in a while

But I only gave you a smile

I’m trying not to cry

I told you we will be best friends forever

I plan to keep that promise

I’m sorry

We seem so far apart now

Which is something I don’t want to happen

You were my best friend

You can’t deny it

But I know things have changed!

I’m sorry

I’ve been thinking for these few days and I really realize that I’ve changed and everyone too. I don’t know how to describe my life. I tried so hard to be happy but why I failed? I don’t know how to settle with my stuff. This feeling is even worst than anything. This is the 5^th month im here. Is going to be half year but I still haven’t changed my feeling. Deep inside hurting and bleeding. No matter how deep I cut also can’t feel the pain as I’m feeling now. I know it’s a lie from you. Tho you treat me real but so what? The fact is you have changed. I rather listen to the fake words because I’m trying to lie myself from this life. The time is like rocket. Till I didn’t realize it’s already April. 13 days more to may. Seven months more to December and soon gonna be 2010. How can I continue my life if I’m like this. My hearts broken into small pieces, who break it? Do you want to know? Firstly is my family. I don’t know how to trust them. Unexpected my uncle is like that kind of person. I really feel so sad. Secondly is my mom. I never seen before people’s mom who will help outsiders but not her daughter and lastly is my friend who lied to me, all are liars! Those things that had happen. I really can’t stop my tears anymore. I feel so hard to live in this life. I don’t know how to be happy in my life. Why other people can be so happy? Why can’t I? I know my parents very well and I know so many things that they thought they can lie to me. But I just want to let me them, try to care of my feelings and please don’t make it so obvious, it’s hurting me! I don’t speak, don’t see, don’t listen doesn’t mean I don’t know. There are so many things that I keep inside cause I don’t know who to tell. All can’t be count on! I’m so fed-up in my life. I wrote in my msn pm, live the live you love. But I wanna know how to live the life you love when there is no choice?