someone suicide!!

Why that dude want to suicide? It’s a sad story but not scary. Today I didn’t go to school because of some reason. Part of the reason is I’m too tired cause yesterday goes out whole day and then I’m also tired too. Another reason is because I didn’t finish my maths homework. I don’t want to hear that teacher voice. So I didn’t attend to school. This morning when I wake up I’m thinking whether should I go to work or not cause I really feel so tired and sleepy. End up I choose to go working than sleeping. XD. When I reach my working place, it’s around 10.45. We’re late. Then for a while at 11.28, one lady who sell bag faster carry her son away and we thought that her son running around so she carry him back to her shop, but it’s not. While she walk pass through our shop, we asked her why? “Got one guy there suicide, jump down!” she whispered to one of my friend. Everyone get shocked and we ran there to see. He’s dead. His head bleeding all over the floor. Actually I’m talking to a customer. But I straight run out from my counter and see. He lies down in front of the customer service counter. Just right in front! They feel so scary and the guy who is sitting inside the customer service counter get shocked and he is shivering like a cat. Then for a while the paparazzi, doctor and lastly the police came. They carry that man away. Before they carry that man away, my dad went to take picture of that man who suicide. But all the pictures he took so blur and he asked me to help him take. I take every shot all nicely and so clear. But when my dad told my mom about it, my mom straight asked him delete everything cause my mom scared. I don’t feel disgust or anything at all. Just feel pity the people who get shocked. There is something I don’t understand which is why must that dude suicide inside shopping mall? It’s right in front the shopping mall door. So many places to jump but why he choose inside the shopping mall? Really don’t understand. Then at night when I read newspaper, they write that he is 50years old. His real life look like 3+ or 4+ only. He sells kuih and so on. They write that he suicide because of he has a “penyakit”. Just because of sick and he thought can’t cure anymore so he suicide. What a stupid fellar! Some of them going to have a scary nightmare cause they feel scary and scared of it. Even one of my friend straight cry cause she saw how he fly down from 3^rd floor. She’s on the phone with her face facing outside there and suddenly that dude fly down. So she get scared and cries like shit. Pity her.

same day, same topic..

I just only reach home not long. Feel so fun and tired too. Me, my mom and my younger brother went to auto city. We went there to eat Tao’s buffet. It starts at 5.30, but we went there around 5.00, it’s too early, they haven’t start their buffet. So we walked to KFC to sit and buy some drinks to drink cause the weather is so hot! Then sit till 5.30 we walk back to Tao. OMG! Inside there the decoration is so special and I feel so happy when I go in. It’s a very nice restaurant! Only cost 50++ per person and you can eat as many as you can. Inside all eat sushi buffet. So nice and worth! They give a very good service to customers. And they are so friendly. I start to like Tao. I hope there is a chance for me to go there eat with my god sis and best friend. It’s gonna be very fun. I eat till so freaking full. I can’t walk at all but still forced to walk. I’m sure everyone who go in will feel very happy when they finished eating. Hmm after that we went to Jusco. I bought 4 t-shirts. Simple design. Then go home and bath all then take some pics that is showing few types of feeling. And I’m blogging right now..XD

3 S-MEAL at KFC!

this is abalone. one of my dish in tao's. look delicious right? i only take this pic cause i like it. taste nice. taste a little bit hot cause they add some wasabi.

the 4 t-shirt that i bought.

took some pics that showing different feelings..

happiee..

sad...

angry..staring at someone..

disappointed..

what the hell??

OH MY GOD!

ooppssyy

frustrated..

yuks! disgust..

crying...

lookin at ya..

smiling..

that's the end..thanks for viewing my blog..

all types of feeling..

The feelings of happiness, surprise, disgust, confused, mad, sad, glad, anger, pressure, frustrated and changing mood appear in this two weeks. I don’t know where to start cause it’s gonna be long story if I write all out. I realize that everyone in this world will have their problems, whether is a big problem or small problem. There must be a problem for every human to face with. No one will live with a non-problem life. Even baby will have problem. Their feelings we don’t know. Cause they only know how to laugh and cry to express their feelings. When they cry, that means so many things. It can be hungry, not feeling well or more. How are we supposed to face our problem? Depends on ourselves. Cause I trust that if a person have true heart to fight over the problems. Sure can be solved. But some people are the type that when hurt once nothing but can’t be heart for many times. It will stay there forever. Maybe I’m that type of person. I face too many problems. It’s getting worst day-by-day. Till I’m lost and don’t know what to do anymore. In front of me is a shit also I don’t know, cause I can’t see things in front of me. Last time I can see what I want for the next day and my future. But now I don’t know where am I suppose to go anymore. Left or right, front or back? I don’t know. Maybe others will think that I’m so negative and few of them asked me before this, “where is the old me?” I don’t know how to answer cause I really don’t know where is the old “me” gone. Is she dead? I don’t know. Before this I chat with one of my friend that having problem with h** family too. Just because of a small matter. I don’t understand why they can’t appreciate people in front of them and why didn’t they appreciate the time. Time is more worth than a gold. Gold can be lose cause it can get back anytime but time once fade away, no matter what you do also can’t get it back. Still the same word I will say which is don’t make a decision that you will feel regret. Trust me! I’m still clear with some stuff though I feel lost. I feel so glad that I have few friends that really concern about me and they showed me that they love me. I’m here to tell them I love them too. But the way I are right now it’s the fact, I don’t think I can turn into the old “me” anymore. Maybe they will feel disappointed to hear this, I’m sorry.

Exam is around the corner. dear friends, have you all started studying? If didn’t quickly start. We don’t have much time left to read so many things and this exam is so important. So Gambateh ya! Yin here wish everyone good luck. May god bless you! XD

Boyfriend? Lolx. Do you know why am I in this title? I also don’t know why. I have good feeling with someone. Not only one but more. What am I thinking right now? What feelings am I having right now? Who can tell me? The way they look tells me that they have feeling too or not? I’m so frustrated. I have been keeping it for so many months. Though I have feelings towards them but I don’t want any relation right now. I know that it will be my additional problem if I’m in a relation and it will affect my studies. So I don’t want to be in any relation. What am I suppose to do? Crazy…!

From last month till this month so many peoples birthday. Inside my blog also so many types of cake pictures. Every of the cake we bought also taste delicious. On last Saturday is my younger brother birthday. We celebrate at home only cause we are so tired to go outside eat. So we just buy some food and come back to celebrate. I ordered a cake for him. The piggy cake is so nice and delicious. All thanks to Swens. Next month we still have so many peoples birthday. My brother seems so happy when we sing birthday song for him and we took few pictures of him.

he is so happy!

his birthday cake. decorated by swens. thx..

this piece is mine! the pig is so cute! xD

I’ll stop here; will continue when I’m free. Cause I’m going out to eat buffet! Hooray!

new poems!

I lay here in the dark, I cry alone.
Arms wrapped around me tight, but they’re my own.
I feel not the warmth of another.
I feel no love, not even from mother.
I am broken inside.
I am lost with no place to hide.
I must get ready for the auction; they're sending me away.
And still I’m alone, each and every day.
I asked for an angel, but none would come.
I lay here broken, my body so numb.
I call, I cry out for help, but they did not hear.
I fell so far, but came so near.
I'm in a new world, I know not how to survive.
I'm dead, and yet I’m alive.

I hide to cry
because I have no where to call my own
and "happily ever after" is a land too far away,
just after once upon a time; just this side of the rainbow
and no one really cares anyway
I know I will never leave this place
and dreams don't really come true
its just all make believe
and it really doesn't matter
my weakness brings my tears
and I have no one to hold me close
no one here who loves me
and no one really cares anyway
I embarrass the moon
and she is my only friend
but she's too far away to hold my hand
no one really cares
and is this pain even real
no one validates my pain
and no one really cares
so why should I
and it really doesn't matter anyway...

My life...
An uncertain person
A slit to burn never to be seen
Why do I cut?
You hurt me badly
My heart bursting
The pain I feel
The blood I see
Await, await, await another day
I cut so what
Should you care?
Why do you care to love me any longer?
I'm not emo. I just cut
My reason unknown...
I cry to die, but never show it
I'm a secret away from telling
Never to deep
Never enough to die
But enough to feel the pain
The blade next to flesh
To gain my strength
I'm not perfect but why do I cut?
My reason still unknown...

(i don't feel the pain tho it bleeds a lot)

to my friend-

I am sorry for what I did

I forgive what you have done

Cause I know that you will forgive me too

The truth is I miss you

Remember all the laughs we have together

Each day I pick up on the phone to call you

Don’t you remember?

All the teachers who yelled at us for talking

And the insides jokes that we laughed our heads off with

The gossips and rumors we made

We hung out almost anywhere

With one another

We were always together

You said forever.

When I leave

I tried to hold on to you

So I finally gave up

So I now hold to the memories

You come to talk once in a while

But I only gave you a smile

I’m trying not to cry

I told you we will be best friends forever

I plan to keep that promise

I’m sorry

We seem so far apart now

Which is something I don’t want to happen

You were my best friend

You can’t deny it

But I know things have changed!

I’m sorry

I’ve been thinking for these few days and I really realize that I’ve changed and everyone too. I don’t know how to describe my life. I tried so hard to be happy but why I failed? I don’t know how to settle with my stuff. This feeling is even worst than anything. This is the 5^th month im here. Is going to be half year but I still haven’t changed my feeling. Deep inside hurting and bleeding. No matter how deep I cut also can’t feel the pain as I’m feeling now. I know it’s a lie from you. Tho you treat me real but so what? The fact is you have changed. I rather listen to the fake words because I’m trying to lie myself from this life. The time is like rocket. Till I didn’t realize it’s already April. 13 days more to may. Seven months more to December and soon gonna be 2010. How can I continue my life if I’m like this. My hearts broken into small pieces, who break it? Do you want to know? Firstly is my family. I don’t know how to trust them. Unexpected my uncle is like that kind of person. I really feel so sad. Secondly is my mom. I never seen before people’s mom who will help outsiders but not her daughter and lastly is my friend who lied to me, all are liars! Those things that had happen. I really can’t stop my tears anymore. I feel so hard to live in this life. I don’t know how to be happy in my life. Why other people can be so happy? Why can’t I? I know my parents very well and I know so many things that they thought they can lie to me. But I just want to let me them, try to care of my feelings and please don’t make it so obvious, it’s hurting me! I don’t speak, don’t see, don’t listen doesn’t mean I don’t know. There are so many things that I keep inside cause I don’t know who to tell. All can’t be count on! I’m so fed-up in my life. I wrote in my msn pm, live the live you love. But I wanna know how to live the life you love when there is no choice?

raining day, sunny day but i prefer windy day.

Before start writing story, can you tell me what kind of day do you like? Sunny day? Raining day? Windy day? Haha..xD..

There is something that I realized in these few days. Maybe there are no friends that can always remember you or always think of you or even concern about you. I’m not blaming anything but this is what I feel after the things that I have observed. Like peoples said, “when they have friends, they will forget you”. Is this true? I guess it is. I don’t really wanna think about it anymore but it makes me think and all the things I heard also don’t know how many percent are true and how many percent are fake. I don’t know how to differentiate it. Never mind. Cause I know in this world no friends will never die but when you don’t have your family you will feel very lonely than no friends. In everyone’s life I believe that family will be the first place for him or her. But maybe there are others that don’t agree with me. Few of my friends always think that friends are more important than family. Maybe they didn’t realize yet. Anyway continue with my Saturday journey. At night we went to Ah Keat seafood in Raja Uda. My aunty recommends us to go there eat cause they say that the foods there are very delicious and actually my aunt found him in Internet. So we went there. The food was ok. Not as good as they said. I mean to me la. I don’t think the food is as delicious as they say. It’s just ok. But my mom says that totally not nice and it’s quite expensive. But there they have a lot of food and they even prepare the menu with pics. Quite interesting and you will really feel wanna eat when you see the pictures. The blog is here.~ ~ http://mylovemyfood.blogspot.com/2009/02/ah-keat-seafood.html

So after eating there we straight go back. It’s like so dirty cause we order crab and so on. What a pitiful that I don’t get to sleep in my room and end up I sleep in living room. Wth? But never mind la. Mom says that soon she will arrange one room for my aunt. But I don’t know when is the soon. Haix. The next morning I wake up and my back and neck are so pain. Hurts mann! I just get one small pillow out. And this is my pillow. Small right. *sigh*

i love this pillow and i named it "fresh air".don't know why but i like it. especially the colors.

MONDAY!

Monday which is today. I don’t feel like going to school cause it’s my mom off day and my dad going to penang. But I know that my mom wouldn’t allow me to absent from school again because last Friday and Saturday I didn’t attend. So I just go to school this morning it was pj time. But we didn’t go for any sports. we just sit inside class. And I use more than 1 period time to read the Star newspaper. After reading feel so tired. Still left 20 minutes to another subject, which is moral. Then I tell my friends that I can’t stand anymore. I sleep first. Ended up I slept for 45minutes. No one wake me up and I didn’t know that they have already changed my moral teacher and pj teacher. So for pj and moral is the same teacher and the teacher also didn’t scold me or wake me up. When I wake up, my friends some more says that, “wow, nice sleeping”. Then I ask them why didn’t you all wake me up. And they just smile. Lolx. Never mind. I feel so active after sleeping for 45 minutes. Luckily our discipline teacher didn’t walk pass our class, if not I’m going to get a “rotan” from him. *scary mann*. After that go for recess and then go back to class again. Then we have English then only account. After that I have to follow the Chinese class for 1 period cause every Monday also I have to follow them for one period then only get to go back. During Chinese class, my lazy friend asks me to help her copy Chinese homework and I helped her but my writing is quite ahem ahem. Lolx. But she doesn’t care cause she is a lazy worm. I scared that teacher saw I know how to write Chinese and will ask me to go for Chinese class. So I use so many books to hide when I helped my friend. After that, time to go back. Mom fetch me and we straight go to Sunway Carnival in Seberang Perai which I never been there before. Heard from others is the mall is so big but not really lots of peoples go there. It’s true! The mall is so big. They sell all branded stuff. Something like Gurney. All types of brand also got. Gucci, MJ, and more. The weather is so hot and my younger brother damn hungry. So when we reach there the first thing we go is searching for food. There are so many food but don’t know why my mom say go to 600cc. Then I say ok. Cause quite long didn’t go 600cc eat. The last time I went there is with my ex. We went there with good and bad memories. Filled with memories. So went there to had my lunch.

forgot the name. but the taste not bad. taste a bit spicy and the dumplings was ok. quite good.

if i'm not mistaken. this is called "milk tea with pearls" actually it's the teh tarik and they just add in some black pearls.

lastly is froggy eyes. when i saw the picture and the name, i feel like trying it so i ordered. end up, it's just so normal. but taste nice. anyway i prefer the snowy more than this.

After that we went to Digi Centre to cut off one of my phone line. Then we went back at 4 something. It’s so hot. 1^st thing I do is run inside to get my clothes and go bath, online and now blogging. That’s all I guess. Will continue tomorrow if I’m not mistaken. Lastly, at 6.18pm start raining again. Don’t know when will it stop.

Bye.. Love the person that loves me too.

tiring saturday *sigh*

Yesterday I almost get accident. On that time, the situation is so fucking dangerous. I thought will bang d. but luckily not. Wanna write it out but I really don’t know how to express the feeling. So I’m not writing it. Lolx.. actually today is my school sports day. I feel like going cause I want to see how is their sports day and also I want to take pictures to upload it and can make it as a memory. But end up I didn’t attend because my friends not going and the others they have marching or some are in the sports running and so on. So if I go will be alone, end up not going. But still feel like going. Quite regret that I didn’t attend la. It’s a waste of my chance. Cause it’s only once a year. This year even CGL sports day, I also didn’t attend. Sorry my dear friends. I know that you all want me to be there but I couldn’t make it cause Tuesday I have too many important subjects so I can’t absent on that day. I hope that next year I can attend la. Cause it will be the last year for me to see you guys run or march. So next year, I make a promise to you guys and myself too. I will go for your school sports day. And today is like my last Saturday. My aunt is coming to my house again. I have to move out from my room again. Shit la. I’m so fucking tired and some more don’t get a good and nice and comfortable sleep. WTH? Ish! Happen something make me feel so shocked and surprising. It’s from my company. They ask me to set a vacancy stuff. So I have ready and sent it to my aunt and my mom too. Then I asked them to add in contact person’s no. cause I don’t know who they want to put. End up they put my no. I was like huh? Wth? Why me? How can they come interview me? Lolx.. but never mind la. Cause it’s not the 1^st time I take this job. But this is the 1^st time they put my hp no. haha.. will write till here.. and will be continue too…

Buh-bye!

take care..

Yin.

pics time!

Hey hey, today I’m not going to school and I guess I’m too free.. too much free time.. lolx.. I’m not going to write anything about me or my day.. because I have taken few pics.. and some of the pics that should upload earlier than but I din’t upload so now I’ll upload all the pics..

for sure this is me..I'm yin..

feeling of loneliness...*sigh*

smiling? don't know..

no expression...

unexpected my bro can get a medal on his sports day..feel happy for him..

duck and duckling..*ya ya ya* lolx..

tiny cups...

yin's family cups..

gift from my god sis.. you know who you are..

yin's box..i lov3 all of them.. it's cute!

aunt's birthday cake..

happy birthday to my aunt! love ya always.. mwahx..

this is my lastly favourite.. it's nice and taste good! lolx..





the end..

unknown title..

Saturday

Harlow.. Today feel quite happy and not really happy.. Cause I just have some arguments with my friends.. Maybe it’s not like a real argument.. It’s his fault but he insist not and thought that he was doing the right thing.. hate him for god sake.. he is only one of my uncle’s worker what.. he thought what? Don’t talk about him la.. today my aunt is coming to my house.. she is going to overnight in my house.. feel happy cause she is here.. feel sad cause I know that I’m not going to have a nice sleep.. I have to move to outside or either my mom’s room again.. I don’t like to move to other people’s room to sleep.. I’m going to ready another bed in another room for my aunt.. so that the next time she come here to stay also got 1 room for her.. and she don’t need to stay in my room… I know that I’m selfish.. but what can I do? That’s me.. lolx.. this time she come here is to celebrate her birthday which is on mon.. but because she is working on Mon, so she celebrate it early and she treat us to somewhere to have dinner.. but end up my dad pay.. haha… then she bought a cake from Penang.. it’s quite nice.. I took the picture of the cake.. so after working, we went out to eat in one restaurant.. want to take picture there.. together with the food.. but end up didn’t because we are all too hungry till can’t wait d.. so didn’t take any pictures..

Sunday

Today today I feel so damn tired mann!! It’s like what I said.. I wouldn’t have a nice sleep.. pity me..*sigh*.. hmm early in the morning some more have to go work.. really so tired.. and then my mom says that it’s time for cake.. then I was like huh? What? Early in the morning, in addition, that is a birthday cake.. not breakfast.. but end up they say never mind and my aunty is going back to Penang in the afternoon.. so I just answer them ok.. then before this, my aunt call my mom and says that she wants us to sing birthday song for her if she buy a cake here.. then we promise to sing.. so early in the morning only, we sing birthday song to her d.. I feel that it’s kinda crazy.. this is the first time I eat birthday cake early in the morning and sing birthday song in the morning too.. haha.. and after that me and my mom went to work. Today business was quite good.. maybe it’s because early in the month and is the first week of the month.. so many foreign.. so crowded too.. i starve till afternoon 4 something only get to eat because too many customers.. after 4, not really lots of peoples d.. so we started to sit till 8 something then only we go back.. really feel so tiring.. but fun cause I earn lots of money.. haha..

Monday

Oh my god.. today I was so sleepy in class.. still get not enough sleep last night.. during account lessons, I almost fall asleep and I’m too blur.. teacher ask me questions and I also don’t know what I answer her.. when she talked to me also I can’t really remember.. it’s like I’m in my dream inside to talk to her.. on that time, how much I wish to have air-cond, bed, and booster for me to lie down and sleep.. I can’t concentrate on my lesson at all.. and want to scold someone, which is MX! She took my moral book back on Friday and how dare she didn’t come today.. luckily my moral sir didn’t scold me nor give demerit.. if not I’m going to kill her like killing a chicken… but I’m afraid of killing chicken too I guess.. lolx.. J.. after school, straight go home.. but even I’m going back but I still don’t get to sleep.. got to go work cause there are few people take off day.. so just go there to replace them… this few days didn’t get enough sleep is like killing me mann!

Tuesday

Oh my god! I hate Tuesday so much! So many subjects.. all some more are important subjects.. wanna miss school also cannot.. ish! No matter how tired I am also must go to school.. sick of school.. but sometimes I feel is kinda fun to be in school.. still left 1 and a half year for me to enjoy school-life.. after that no more school.. I just can’t imagine after schooling, my life will turns into what.. don’t dare to imagine.. but still imagining.. don’t know what the hell am I crapping here.. lolx.. today I did something bad which is me and MX lie to our sir says that she is sick and I follow her car back so we want to go back early.. for Tuesday, we end at 1.45.. but we lazy to stay till so long so we lied to our sir.. and we get to go back at 1.10.. unexpected he believe le.. haha.. at first he don’t allow, he ask me to find my own transport.. I say I don’t have because both of my parents working.. no one can fetch me back.. so he allowed.. feel happy and feel quite scared too.. cause we both scared that later others saw us go back different car.. just like that lo.. and I’m thinking of something.. making decision.. but don’t know whether want to or don’t want to.. who can help me? I’m afraid to lose but still wanna give it a try.. *thinking*

Wednesday

I’ve make my decision to join in.. don’t care whatever result turns out also I wanna give a try to myself.. hope I can do it.. don’t know when only get to know the results.. today I’m so angry of my school’s prefect.. the two bitch are insane.. always stop me from everything.. one day tie.. another day fingernails.. I don’t know what the hell they want.. continue like that I’m going to report her.. fucking bitch! Thought that they are smart and so on.. but let me tell you here, YOU’RE NOT! Hmm.. don’t know why today feel so active in the afternoon.. excited feelings also pop out.. don’t know why also.. haha.. but when I went back home.. suddenly feel so sleepy.. but still watching movie cause my dad is watching it in my room.. for a while, my mom and dad is going out.. and my mom ask me to help her do something.. I say ok.. but for a while only I straight sleep d.. really so tired la..

Thursday

Raining!!! Rain rain rain… hate raining day.. also hate sunny day.. raining day will get wet.. sunny day will get burn.. haix.. also don’t know what kind of day is the best.. I guess summer day la.. not cold and not hot.. or maybe windy day also feel good.. lolx.. hmm this morning when I wake up, I heard the rain sound and the thunder.. I feel so lazy to go school.. I don’t like to go school when it’s raining day.. some more rain heavily.. so I went back to sleep.. suddenly I remember I’m holding one of my friend’s book.. so I must go school even it’s raining.. so I just go get ready and go school.. from January till now, this is the 1^st day that early in the morning raining heavily.. always rain for a while and will stop.. but this time it’s like raining all the time.. since last night till this morning till afternoon, wondering when only the rain will stop…I’m worried that the house cleaner aunty will come or not.. cause I ask her to come today but it’s raining.. luckily she got come.. if not I’ll kill her cause she waste my time for waiting her.. tomorrow and Saturday I’m not going to school because tomorrow is sukan raptai and Saturday is our school sports day.. I’m lazy to go.. even I go also useless cause I’ll just there to see only.. I’m not joining anything, not even marching.. so will be very bored.. but I’m still planning to go.. cause I want to take pics.. I also have interest to see how is their sports day.. will think about it la.. haha…

The 5 days..

Finally today I don’t need to go to work.. I’m so tired.. These few days happen quite many things that I didn’t write out and also didn’t update my blog.. Let’s start from


30.03.2009(Monday)
I didn’t go to school and went to CGL for a while to see my friends and pass them letter cause I receive their letter on Fri. and Sat.. Then if I pass it to the postmen it will take quite a long time.. So I straight pass it to them cause on mon I’m going back to penang to pray my grandparents.. We went out so fucking early, it’s 7 something in the morning, I thought I’m not going to school so I get to sleep later.. Who knows, also have to wake up so early.. So my mom fetch two of my brothers to school then we straight go out.. I didn’t know that early in the morning Penang Bridge also will jam and there’s police checking motor so early.. Then I feel so sleepy and I sleep in car till reach Penang.. The 1st place we go is pasar “ban san”.. haha..xD.. Went there to buy fruits and also eat.. After that go to CGL.. I was so rush cause my mom say she is in a rush.. so I also quickly go.. So many peoples in the field cause they are training for the marching thingy, I saw Tasha 1st and I ask her does she know where is Chingy and Jas? Cause I tot they join marching to.. But they didn’t..It was the day before sports day, their sports day on Tuesday.. Too bad I couldn’t attend cause Tuesday I have too many important subjects.. So I cannot absent.. Hope my friends won’t angry.. lolx.. After I run up and down only I saw them.. While I walk pass the field I saw BUMPY BOOPS! She look at me but I ignore.. haha.. She still join marching but now running anymore.. Maybe she knows she help her house to win any prizes.. haha.. After found them and pass them letter and give them a hugs then I went back d.. We straight go pray my grandmother together with my aunty.. After that we go back to our Penang house to take a rest and bath then SLEEP.. So tired! Then till afternoon only we go back to BM.. Then at night I have to go my working place to help my GM then only he sent me back..


31.03.2009(Tuesday)
Nothing much happen on Tuesday, just that don’t know why I’m always in a bad mood and feel like scolding people.. That’s why I avoid from talking to people cause I know myself and know my temper too.. I feel quite bored on that day and also feel sad… don’t know why my life like that.. Do I look like I’m living in a fucking life? Who should I blame? Me myself? Parents? God? It’s impossible for me to blame on anyone cause it’s not our fault whereas it’s fate.. I don’t know whether we can change our fate or not.. But I’m trying to.. Still failed.. Feeling disappointed and speechless.. I sit down and refresh all the things I’ve done and all the things that others taught me.. And I slowly think and differentiate all the things whether it’s right or wrong.. And maybe most of the things is wrong more than right.. I don’t know why.. But this is the answer I get.. I feel that I don’t have anyone to concern.. even my parents not too.. Even they concern it’s only for few minutes and that’s it.. * Sigh *


01.04.2009(Wednesday)
April fool day! Hey hey, did anyone fool u? Lolx.. I didn’t.. Know why? Cause the fool that my friends trying to fool me it’s so fake.. So I knew it and I don’t feel funny anymore cause the things they say doesn’t make sense at all.. Unlike last time.. Never mind I won’t think back all past stuff cause it’s already a pass and it’s like a dream to me cause till now I also don’t know what the hell am I doing.. And I don’t know who am I too. Ridiculous right? Lolx.. There’s something that I feel funny is early in the morning when I’m in school, 1 of my friend asked me, “hey when is april fool?” I answered her, “it’s today la, dumb”.. Then she asked me again, “What is april fool? What does it mean?”.. Know what I tell her? “Speechless”.. haha.. This is the ever 1st time people ask me this question.. And I don’t know what’s in her mind.. She’s older than me 1 year but her thinking it’s like when I’m standard 4.. Sometimes talk to her also feel suffocate cause her brain work damn slows! Haha..xD


02.04.2009(Thursday)
Today I realize something.. Maybe all the things I’ve did after I leave Penang, some of my friends will think that I changed.. And I also feel that they changed.. And finally today I know that one of them didn’t changed and I misunderstand her life.. I’m here to say “sorry, my dear friend..” I didn’t know that she didn’t changed and she felt so unhappy all the time.. Many things happen to her which I don’t know cause we less contact.. Besides sending letter, we don’t really chat in msn nor sms.. And today I talked to her in msn only I get to know.. Maybe there’s 1 question u asked me I answer you that you are my 1st best friend.. But to let you know.. I’m sorry that after I leave penang I feel that I don’t have anyone to trust.. Try to imagine, I don’t even trust my family members, how am I going to trust friends? In add, there are friends that betrayed me and they thought I don’t know.. They think I’m dumb! Let you know, I’M NOT! I’m smarter than your ass or your brain! You’re going to 1st class or 3rd class it’s your fault.. Make sure you can afford it.. Don’t lose like a chicken lost their v*****…haha…watch out your mouth.. Don’t just simply blah people stuff out like a chicken ass mouth…so stinks! Everyone have their own secrets and they tell to someone that they trust.. So that person who gets to listen others secret, after listening just shut your mouth! Don’t spread everywhere..


03.04.2009(Friday)
Today I didn’t go to work after school cause over tired.. Don’t know why I feel my daily life also so tired and didn’t get enough sleep.. *Sigh*..This afternoon I clean up my room and house too.. Then wash my school shoes and shirts and all housework.. Then after that I straight online for 1 whole day.. play games and so on.. Till 6 something suddenly feel so hungry.. so I cooked instant noodle to eat then go in my room again and continue playing online games.. I feel so freaking cold.. Cause it’s raining.. And I still on my air-cond for whole afternoon.. *Freezing*.. then I download something and installing some software.. That software take more than 3 hours to install.. Then I was lying down on my bed just to take some rest.. I didn’t want to sleep cause thinking to sleep early tonight.. but end up.. I straight fall asleep till 9 something my dad come back and he wake me up but I still continue sleeping.. Too tired.. And so bad luck.. I wake up on 12 in the midnight.. Feeling so energetic.. Don’t know what to do.. Online again and continue playing games.. Then drink milk too.. Cause there’s no more food in the kitchen.. Till 2something midnight… I start to blog… which is now.. blog all this things until 3something then going to continue play games again and then only sleep.. Tomorrow got to go work.. So
everyone good night.. Love ya.. mwahx..