so sick of life!

What types of feeling should I write in my blog after Wednesday? Maybe happy and angry only cause that’s the only feeling I had. Angry just because of my parents that they deny it when they are wrong. Why they just blame on me and if others don’t know they really think it’s my fault. Never mind cause they talk to me back. Anyway happy stuff more, firstly sms with my sis past few days. Very long we didn’t sms d. maybe she’s busy. She had planned to do so many things. Hope she will not be too tired during holidays. This few days I have been thinking why am I so down and why do I cut? Used to it? Maybe I shouldn’t say that I used to it. I’m trying so hard to be positive thinking but I know that it won’t last long in my mind. I’m trying to make it stay and don’t go away. I wanna have a happy life but not the life that is always sad and crying inside dark room. But what can I do when I can’t control? Someone teach me please. It’s not easy to just control our feeling. Have you ever tried? Maybe can just control one or twice but not every time. If everyone can control their feeling and not thinking negative then there will be anyone who suicide. Am I right my dear friends? Sometimes not everything we can change easily. Clothes and food we can just change it at anytime but not out fate. Peoples tell me before that we can change everything but I guess they are wrong. Wanna know why am I so down? It’s because I can’t accept the fact that all my friends are leaving me and one by one forgetting me. I know many peoples forget who is yin. Yin is dead right now. My sis told me that teachers, friends and so many people still remember me. But I know it’s a lie. What can I do? She even tells me that I’m famous. Famous like what? I’m not famous at all. I’m not even worth for anyone to remembered who am I. What a pathetic yin. < This is what others will say. I know I’m in a bad life and sometimes I feel I’m not a normal human. Many things I know that I’m different from others. I really want to know who am I. What did I do in my previous life? How am I supposed to know all my past? So sick of life cause I don’t even know when is the end of my life. sobx. *sigh*