Feel unpleasant in my life!

After what I had observed, I really agree with my thinking and also there is stuff proves to me that I’m out from this world. I’m no longer to be their friend anymore. I’m out from them. I make some promise to myself but I won’t tell here cause I’m learning to keep stuff to myself. Last time I can’t but now MUST try to keep everything to myself cause everyone is busy with their life and not going to have anytime to listen to my story. I can see things clearly. Who are real and who are fake, I still know how to differentiate. I don’t wanna bother their life anymore. And all I can do from this second onwards is make myself used to be “solo”. I can’t lie on anyone’s shoulder anymore. What Is “LIFE”?? The period between birth and death? Who can tell me what will happen to this world if everyone thinks that lifeless is the best? I really can’t imagine what will happen. Why are all peoples so fake? Backstab here and there, is it fun? I just can’t imagine how people act in their daily life. Won’t they feel suffer? It exists nevertheless. Can I just ask people around me to fuck off? I know I can’t cause it’s too rude. In addition, there are no differences whether I ask them to fuck off or not. Cause they are leaving me so long time d. they fade away right in front of me or I’m the one who already fade away to them? All the lie u made to me it will always be remembered in my mind. No worries, I won’t take revenge cause I feel so tired to be in life. There’s no need for me to take revenge anymore. What will I get after taking revenge? Get to go to meet my great grandparents earlier than it was? Ahah.. Nonsense! What I do will never change the fact that it was apparently happen right in front of my eyes. I’m going to cancel all appointment that I have made. I don’t want to meet anyone anymore. Whether is good or bad, true or fake is no more important to me. It doesn’t change my life at all. Maybe I don’t know how to describe my real feeling that is inside my heart and my mind. All I can say is I’m SO SAD! Who am I suppose to hate? I can’t blame to anyone cause my life is arranged by the God. Who is more powerful than GOD? Please appear right in front of me cause I need your help to change my life or just delete all my memories! Happy or sad memories I don’t want to remember anymore. I just wanna clear all my memory. Lastly, 3 days more to my birthday. So what?? Do I look like I’m so happy or excited? I’m not at all. Don’t even know how to celebrate. And you! Why u changed? I thought you wouldn’t. But it’s a disappointment. Break the promises that we made. You are a liar!